10 Flying Requests/Demands from a Photojournalist

Around the Lens panelist Marcus DiPaola flies A LOT. Whatever you think is a lot… double it.
I asked him how often he flies, he responded almost immediately, “I averaged a flight every 2.4 days last year, [and] averaging a flight about every 3.1 days this year.”

Marcus, who followed the Trump campaign last year, has probably as many frequent flier miles as George Clooney’s character does in Up in the Air.  He posted this list of requests/demands/advice on facebook.

Top ten most important steps YOU can take to avoid pissing everyone off while flying:

1. There is a secret button underneath the aisle armrest to swing it up and out of the way. Flight attendants use it to transfer handicapped people from aisle wheelchairs to their seat. You should use it when getting up out of your seat. DO NOT TOUCH THE PERSON’S SEAT IN FRONT OF YOU FOR ANY REASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Buy precheck or Global Entry. It’s worth it even if you only fly twice a year. If you didn’t buy it, and your boarding pass doesn’t say precheck, don’t go to the precheck line. It doesn’t matter if you got it last time or your friend has precheck. STAY AWAY FROM THE PRECHECK LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. If you see someone running in any hub airport (ORD, CLT, DTW, ATL, SFO, EWR), get out of the way because they’re not stopping even if they knock you over.
4. DON’T BE GATE LICE. SIT THE FUCK DOWN UNTIL YOUR BOARDING GROUP IS NEXT UP TO BE CALLED.
Delta boarding groups: PREM, SKY, Zone 1, Zone 2, Zone 3.
United: GS, Groups 1-6
American: Groups 1-9
Southwest: Use the clearly marked signs. (Also note, you CAN preboard if you have a TV camera.)
Spirit: Cancel your reservation and fly Southwest. Or kill yourself.
5. Put your bags in the overhead bin before sitting down or messing with your purse or backpack. If you’re short, ASK FOR HELP. Coats do not go in the overhead until boarding is finished. If you have a small laptop bag or small briefcase, put it under the seat in front of you. Everything else can go up.
6. IF YOU ARE SICK, USE TWO HANDS TO COVER YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE WHEN YOU SNEEZE OR COUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And don’t sneeze into your elbow. It’s doesn’t work.
7. Do **NOT**, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, ask questions of the gate agent or flight attendants during the boarding process. The time for questions was before boarding started. Boarding is when you shut the fuck up and get on the plane.
8. Person in the middle seat gets both arm rests. Aisle seat gets to lean out into the aisle. Window seat gets to lean against the window.
9. No manspreading. Use the armrest on the row in front of you as a guide for how far you can stretch your legs.
10. Don’t recline your seat on flights less than two hours.

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